Parent to Parent

Are you the parent of a child who has recently come out? If so, are you feeling a sense of denial, grief, sadness or anger? Are you unable to imagine what the future might hold for your child?

Have you suspected for a while that your child may be gay or transgender, or that they might be questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity? Do you wonder how to approach the subject with your child?

Do you want desperately to be able to support your child, but find that you are still unable to come to terms with the news that your child is gay or transgender? Has your relationship with your child been fractured? Have you gone into your own closet? Do you find yourself being vague and ambiguous when a friend, family member, or acquaintance asks if your child is dating someone? Do you feel hindered from moving forward to accept your child?

IF ANY OF THESE SITUATIONS DESCRIBES WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, YPI MAY BE ABLE TO HELP.

Meet Marilyn:

I am the parent of two young adults who happen to be gay. My journey has been full of starts and stops. I have experienced many different emotions during the past nine years… feelings of denial, grief, bewilderment, guilt, fear, joy, and pride. When my children first came out as gay, I found that all of my fears, prejudice and long-held religious beliefs kept me from trying to understand them. It took me a long time to realize that being gay is just a part of who my children are. This understanding began when I started educating myself about the myths and realities surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Many of the books and articles I read were aimed at straight parents and others were personal memoirs of gay and transgender people. I started going to PFLAG (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays) meetings, where I met other parents as well as gay adults who helped me tremendously in dealing with my emotions and developing my knowledge and understanding of gay issues.

My relationship with my children has survived many mutations, but it is now open and honest. I am a totally different person than I was nine years ago and I have my children to thank for this transformation. They challenge me to keep growing, thinking and learning. They push me to confront my biases. They have helped me come to a place in my life where I can truly celebrate my children for who they are— wonderful human beings.

I came to YPI looking for an opportunity to embrace and support other youth within the gay and transgender communities. I’ve been involved with YPI as a volunteer, staff member, and donor for the past three and a half years. It’s been a thrilling and exciting adventure.

If you are a parent who needs a peer to talk to, I invite you to contact me either by phone at 421-5626 or by email at marilyn@youthprideri.org. I’ll be happy to talk with you anywhere, even over a cup of coffee.